For the past week, I have been reading The Desendants. Its about a father who has to deal with the fact that his wife is in a coma and is going off life support and he needs to learn how to be everything for his 2 daughters, o yea and he finds out that his wife was cheating on him. The author has this great way of describing how the father observes the way the daughters are dealing with the it all. Basically, he notes the meaning behind everything they do, the over enthusiasm of something exciting to mask the pain and such. Anyway it’s a good book you should read it.
The book makes we wonder if anyone who has known me in the past 6 months has had the same inner dialouge as the father when they were around me. His describtions of the condradictions between what the daughters were saying or doing to what he could tell they were actually feeling was spot on. Could my friends tell this? To me it is no question that I wasn’t myself and I can tell this becuase I’m past it, i’m better. But, did I really fool everyone else into thinking I was ok? In book, he notes these actions but never said anything to them about it, is that what people did to me? Could everyone tell what a fucking wreck I was and just kept it to themselves, fearing to hurt me more?
I can’t decide if I actually want to know the answer to this or not. If this was true, then I would feel bad that everyone knew I was so broken. If it wasn’t true, I would feel bad that I’m such a good liar.
